Twelve years ago  my vocal chords were removed due to cancer. Up until that time like the majority of people I had taken speech for granted. I became a laryngectomee, breathing only through a small hole in my neck.

Life without 'normal' speech is very strange, frustrating for all around us. I am limited to oesophageal communication, simply explained as a controlled  burp. Because this method of communication is dependent upon breath control, it can disappear completely under stress thus leaving me extremely vulnerable.

I do have an amplifier to assist in places where there is a noisy background. However the use of this or, as many laryngectomees use, an electronic communication device is not welcomed socially. General reactions to different  methods of communication:

• Put that thing away and manage.
• Amusement, disbelief, etc. on the telephone.

Many public services are contactable only by telephone which often means we have to get a third party to telephone on our behalf - no right to medical confidentiality in contacting a hospital department or medical service?

A few months ago I attended a local disability conference. 120 people were present, the wheelchair users gathered together talking, the sight impaired were in a group from a local association, the hearing impaired were in groups with their signing interpreters, then there was myself. As usual, the only person without speech, living on the outside looking in. It is so very easy for groups of people, naturally gregarious, to gather and talk together. It is also easy to subject a person without speech to abuse, either by ignoring or talking down to that person. I have been verbally abused whilst shopping because a person has not understood my attempt to say ‘excuse me’ as I reached for an article.

I have also, frighteningly, been surrounded by a small group of young boys shouting at me. This happened as I left the croquet lawns in a local park, fortunately other club members were not far behind me.

I have joined a number of cancer, disability and health groups at local, regional and national levels in attempts to increase understanding of life without 'normal' speech.